Saturday, December 13, 2014

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....



Everywhere you go... We have our tree up, went to my in-laws annual Draft Horse Outing and my Mommi is in town visiting!!! The air outside is crisp, our crib is currently in our dining room and here we are still waiting.

Once again the peace that we have had throughout this adoption has been great and continues to be great. We know that one day we will be parents... We don't know if there is something going on with either of us and that is why we haven't been able to keep a pregnancy, but we definitely know that through adoption we will be parents :). And so... for those of you wondering if there are any updates.... Other than the HUGE news that we reached our goal and are waiting for the call, there isn't another update. Sometimes I want to make up a huge juicy update to share but alas there is none... Daniel and I continue to live life... We wake up, make our bed, go to work, home, church, family, do laundry, cook, laugh and live the fullest we can. Sometimes there are tears (from me), and sometimes not having a baby of our own while friends and acquaintances are pregnant and have babies and kids makes my heart have a twinge of sadness. Sometimes life doesn't go as planned, but thru it all we are greatful. Greatful that I have my husband next to me at night. I miss my sister so terribly most days that I hold on to Daniel and treasure what we have even more. Sometimes or most of the time happyness and tears and reality are all a jumble of life... We have hope. Hope in God, thankfulness for the life we have. Tears for those we have lost, Abue, Daddi, Thelma, Babies, and memories that we cling to.

So during this Christmas season enjoy it to the max, serve others, open your "imperfect" perfect home to new friends. Above all love and have faith, don't loose hope.

We love you and hope you have a beautiful Christmas holiday!!!

~ Daniel & Liza

Thursday, August 21, 2014

The Long Stretch

 Daniel - March 2014

As of the 25th of June we have officially been on the "Waiting List". Waiting… and waiting… and waiting… The waiting hasn't been bad, it hasn't been unbearable or hard. The emotions have stayed at bay and we are taking it one day at a time. When our awesome case-worker, Karen, emailed/called with the news that we were approved I asked her, "So this means that any day we could become parents?!" she answered, "Yes, but you should have a 1-2 year long wait in mind." My response was, "But technically we really could be parents any day!" :). So here we are waiting and praying, working and fundraising, getting to know each other more and waiting some more.

We've been asked why an adoption is so expensive as well as what happens if we don't have the last payment ready when we get the baby. We are on the last stretch of the fundraiser and the final amount will be due at the legal placement of the baby. I do think that when one is pregnant you have the expenses of your doctor (in an adoption there are doctor's appointments and physicals which are not included in the cost along with fingerprinting and other costs). I thought I would share you what goes into an adoptions cost.

Cost: $29,000 not including legal fees for the adoption

This sum covers the following:
  • The creation of your online account, the case file, the collection of references, background clearances, and the first meeting with BCS (Bethany Christian Services) staff
  • Orientation and training services
  • The home study that is required for adoption including the creation of required documents, interviews, home visit(s), and gathering/assessing collateral information, and service planning
  • Work done on your behalf to have your profile seen by expectant parents and includes your web profile, outreach activities, and various support services during the waiting period
  • The pregnancy counseling provided to the expectant parents and includes work locating, engaging and involving the expectant father in the process, history compilation, meetings with you, hospital planning, negotiating adoption plans and agreements, counseling at the hospital, grief counseling
  • All expectant parent expenses allowed by state laws (medical, living expenses, etc.)
  • Petitioning for adoption and other required documentation, placement of the child, grief counseling post placement, and file maintenance
  • Also the required post placement visits, reports and support.
When you go through that it starts to make sense and see that the agency doesn't just stand around and do nothing, they are the liaison's between our future baby and us. One time I asked Karen how many potential parents placed their babies for adoption, her response was only 20% followed through with placing their baby. That means that out of 100 expectant mothers only 20 would want to see our book and the books of other families. I sometimes call this the "eharmony" of babies. Though the 20% might mean that it could take longer it made me happy to know that many more expectant moms kept the babies. I know age, income level, education, lifestyle, health are only a certain facet of such a huge decision but I can only imagine that they need the support of many loved ones to bring a baby into this world. 

And so our wait continues... We receive emails from the agency asking to show our book to expectant parents. We say "yay or nay" and wait once again. I have heard it said that adoption is not for the weak hearted, but I say it is for everyone who has a heart :) (and is approved through a home study). Some people might think that once we are chosen that is it. The truth is it isn't. By law the birth mom has 48 hours to change her mind. I have heard those hours are the longest hours... Hypothetically we could be chosen for a baby due in October. We would be ecstatic, our hearts would be filled with anticipation, we would want to get the room ready and have a baby shower and then once baby would be born we could come home empty handed. That is a terrifying thought. One that I am aware of but know that there could be another scenario, one where we get called out of the blue for a baby that has already been born and whose mom/dad have waived all parental rights... Ahhhhh... Either way we are in it together.

So our story continues, highs and lows, like everyone else. We continue to pray and believe that our perfect baby is growing and that we will grow to be his/her perfect parents. I know perfection is not achievable, but I view that with God, He will place the "perfect" baby into our arms. So Baby Boo we love you already and we are mastering the art of waiting while on this last long stretch.

~ Liza



Thursday, June 19, 2014

What is a Mudder?

I have been wanting to write for a while, but how can I make the transition from my last post to our adoption? It seemed too casual, too impersonal, too heartbreaking to go from writing about my darling Thelmi to continue with my words on paper. So hear I am wanting to make a tribute to my Mother, or Mami as I call her.

Last week I watched my friends kids while she went to an appointment. Her 5 year old daughter, Lucy, missed her terribly and in the sweetest voice said, "I just want my mudder". Accent or no accent it made a lump come to my throat. I am sure my darling neices want, desire, need their "mudder" too. My brother in law is loving and caring and he will love them through their loss, and I pray for strength for him as he leads them through this next season.

My Mami lost her mom (Abue), her husband (Daddi), and her dauther (Thelma) in a span of 18 months. Through all the loss and heartache she still reached and reaches out to me to make sure that I am doing good. She sends me encouraging emails and videos to keep me reaching for my dreams. She nurtures our relationship, she prunes hurtful things that have happened and fertilizes with love what has been so deeply hurt. 

She is one to work hard, to stand up for us, to love through her cooking and acts of service. What is a "mudder"? She is one who chases nightmares away, who plays with our dolls and us, teaches us to roller skate - pillow strapped on to the behind, teaches us to speak 2 languages and encourages to go for 5 more, she sews and creates beautiful things, she practices perfection in her knitting even if that means taking the sweater out completely 3 times before she finishes it, she doesn't like cats but always takes care and nurses the stray kittens that I brought home, she is a friend to my friends, though strict she knows how to talk directly to the heart. My Mami, my mother, my friend I love you and appreciate all that you gave of yourself to see your family continue to live. Despite death, despite heartache you love, you never let depression get in the way from giving me a hug or loving me, you didn't even allow it in to your life. You show me what "live faith" looks like, you pray with me and still to this day help chase my nightmares away. 


I love you and am so looking forward to being a Mami to our little one(s) like you have been to me. Thank you for all you do and all your love. Te amo Mami.

Tu gatita,
Liza Paola



Monday, May 5, 2014

Eternally Healed



Yesterday, May 4th, 2014 my sister, Thelma Elizabeth Hartmann, was eternally healed. For most of her twenties and into her 30's she lived through hodgkins lymphoma. I don't say she fought a battle for in one of our conversations she told me, "I don't like it when people say I'm fighting a battle - the battle has already been won". Thelmi I love you, you astound me, you taught me, protected me, faught with me, loved me, grew up with me, played with me, shared your life, your clothes, your happiness, your tears, your losses, your wins, your adventures, and created adventures with me.

You are now "Eternally Healed". No more needles, no more medicine, no more hospice, no more hospitals, no more separations from you hubby and little ones, no more loopy dreams (no more chicken backpacks), no more nurses, no more doctors, no more wheelchairs and no more walkers, no more good byes only now a see you later.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you very much I think you won though. You won in loving me first.

This past Friday Ruth and I were able to make some videos together with Thelma. Along with Mommi they helped me on a project about "Flourishing". We had great conversations and I asked Thelma if she felt as though she was flourishing even though she had cancer. Her response was "Of course I'm flourishing". That was Thelma full of life, full of spunk, full of character. These videos bring me smiles they also bring tears. Thelmi will not meet our baby or babies... She won't come and visit me anymore... But the legacy that she left and passed on to her daughters, the love and passion in life is there. 

Thelma will "flourish" on. She is eternally healed. I love you Emu.




Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Home Study

It is a lovely thing when two people become one. When you love so deeply in a way that you never thought possible. Sometimes I think that this is how parents must love their kids... But in a way I think it is a different love as they are part of you. I will learn about parent love this year but for now I have "wife love" and "God love" that I know. 

"Husband" as I like to call my man is hard working, kind, fair, trust worthy and funny. He farms the land with his family and loves not only me but my family :). That is a huge plus. I lost both my Abue and my Daddi in the last year and a half and Daniel has held me more than one time while I cry. He extends such tender and honest love to me. I am so excited when I think of him being a dad. I am sure the adjustments will be there and what we think will be easy might throw us for a loop but I am proud to be married to the man that I am, because I know he will be an amazing father.

So, we got both parents on board, but what about our home? Thinking on the home study part of me wonders if our home will make it through the cut. All I know are movies which depict home studies scenes such as the one from "What to Expect When You are Expecting". Thankfully we won't have to say our wedding photos were burned in a fire :).

 

Ahhhhh.... It's is exciting, terrifying but the good type of terrifying and nerve wrecking all at once! Do I make breakfast, do I set up the nursery and take down my office, are we supposed to be friends with our case worker, or only friendly? If you know me you will know that I like most people and did I already mention that our case worker is awesome? After our first meeting Daniel looked over at me and said, "You probably want to be her friend". But again, is there etiquette rules on this? I don't know. The good news is is that the first home study is scheduled for May 9th and then the last home visit will be on the 19th! I am so excited and a tad bit nervous. Our lives are going to be completely rocked by a little baby. 

And so I must close this post as I am visiting my mom and want to make breakfast for her and my sisters. 

Ohhhh so happy, 
Liza

Monday, April 14, 2014

Oh so cute Tees and Onesies

Ahhhh.... Sometimes don't you just want to hide underneath the blankets, but then you remember you are an adult and have to face things head on? Today was one of those days. Some of you may know that my sister has not been well for quite some time. It makes some days have big dips in them and all the while life continues. There is no pause button to catch up on life. No pause to clean the house, make a meal, update the blog, or make the fundraiser run by itself :). I think God didn't give us pause buttons cause we would be stop and go all the time trying to figure out life without Him.

And here I am, wanting to climb into bed, but it's still not time. We officially started a fundraiser site: https://www.youcaring.com/ungerbaby and have also started the t-shirt/onesie sales. I hadn't been able to post them on the blog but tonight is the night... No more dilly-dallying about this.

Last fall my MIL had a t-shirt designed for the farmer's wives, then my sis-in-law had another one designed for the husbands and I came up with a couple for the babies. I'm so excited as they all have a farming theme and they are oh so cute indeed.

To order email your order with size, design, color, quantity, shipping address to: urourbaby@gmail.com

Adult tees are $29 plus S&H
Onesies are $25 plus S&H
Outdoor Pillows 18x18 are $45 plus S&H

If you live in the area I will most likely be able to deliver once the first run has gone through. Again I am taking orders the month of April for delivery early May. As for the outdoor pillow sets those will be done by May 1st and cost $45 a set plus S&H.

In case you haven't been able to see them here they are... well all except for the husbands one (I'll update that one later on):


Outdoor Porch Chicken Pillows - Handmade by Liza :)

Please help us spread the word about our adoption! We would be so grateful if you did!

With love & gratitude, 
Me (Liza)

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Need to Know

So today brought smiles and a couple tears as well. I worked at a "Pass it on Sale" in the morning and never have I seen soooo many pregnant ladies, soooo many babies and soooo many tears all in one place... Truly kudos to all the mom's that were there and the children with them! (Ohhh and by the way, it was the babies who were shedding the tears, not the ladies.)

I couldn't help myself but I wanted to ask sooo many questions to the ladies. I wanted to be immediate friends. I wanted to ask what the best baby carrier was, if it was harder than it looked, if they had any tips and so forth.... I truly have baby fever!

Every day we work on the adoption, whether it be filling out more paperwork, reading, working on taxes (not fun), working on fundraising ideas and logistics and so forth, but sometimes during the day I forget that we will be parents and that one day I'll be like those mom's with their babies... I get a little smile on my face and think that no one really knows what you are going through unless you let them in.

And so despite some sad news of my sister not being well today (prayer's definitely appreciated) I found this little video that made my eyes water and thought that it was too cute not to share. I think I even needed to hear this, so sit back and enjoy some cuteness:


So this you need to know: "laughing is good, there are plenty of reasons to dance - you just have to look for them, being a person is hard sometimes, treat everyone likes it's their birthday -even if they don't deserve it, and lastly - WE'RE REALLY GLAD YOU ARE HERE".

So there you have it, some things don't make sense, some things we'll never know. Then there are those which we definitely need to know such as this: Baby Boo I can't wait to hold you and tell you "I'm really glad you are here".

Love,
Me (Liza)

Monday, April 7, 2014

A Pretty Penny

Soooo... When I was little I always thought, dreamed, and imagined that I would grow up, get married, two years later start popping out babies :)... My dreams and reality sometimes don't match up and it's ten years past my #1 baby years and we have no baby in our arms :)... Granted, I did get married much later than I originally anticipated :)... Ohhh and in case you can't tell I really like smiley faces.

Throughout my life I have fundraised for different causes. Whether it would be blood drives, or fundraising for my sister's treatment, now we are on this amazing process of adopting and realize that it costs a pretty penny. A pretty penny which will allow us to be parents! So after praying and thinking and thinking some more I am so happy to announce that our babies fundraising has begun.

We have an instagram account (www.instagram.com/urourbaby) where I will be doing a pre-sale of t-shirts as well as custom-made "out door" pillow cases to begin with. The month of April I'll take in orders and have them ready to be shipped out by the 1st of May! We are sooo excited. Thank you for sharing our IG page and our story.

With Love,
Liza

Friday, April 4, 2014

Adopted

Sooo... we are in the "Home Study" portion of the adoption... What is that you might ask? Here is the definition from childwelfare.gov:

The laws of every State and the District of Columbia require all prospective adoptive parents (no matter how they intend to adopt) to participate in a home study. This process has three purposes:
  • Educate and prepare the adoptive family for adoption
  • Evaluate the fitness of the adoptive family
  • Gather information about the prospective parents that will help a social worker connect the family with a child whose needs they can meet
We first met with the adoption agency to gather information, then submitted a pre-application just because we are like that. Then we prayed some more and felt that God was going to speak to us directly about whether we should adopt or not.

We had a prophetic conference at our church... Again you might wonder what that is? It is a time where you are prayed for and God speaks through different individuals, in our case pastors, and gives you a word from God. WOW. I have had moments in my life where I have stepped back and truly said, God is real and this was one of them. There were 2 couples who prayed for us. They did not even know our name our what our story was and here they were praying for us and sharing words which only Daniel and I knew were specifically in regards to the adoption. We were searching, asking and wondering if we should submit our final application. That night we went out and had the most amazing dinner we had had all year. We celebrated that we were going to be parents.

So here we are, I am now more open about sharing and it is becoming more real to me. Though I am not pregnant, our baby could be growing right now. Right this very instant... Baby Boo... I'm thinking about you already. I have come to realize that things that used to matter matter very little, things that have always mattered such as family, health, relationships matter even more. Dreams readjust, emotions are fine tuned, expectations can be ground to smithereens with life, but I choose life. Every day we work on one more paper, one more letter, one more page in a book to read. This "baby" journey is taking us for a spin! Good thing I like adventure.

While reading up on adoption and such we watched three videos from The Austin Stone Church in Austin, Texas that were so on point. I want to share them with you as they were a blessing to us.

Adopted: Rescued by Love
Adopted: Rescued to Love
Adopted: The Cost of Love

Love,
Liza



Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Baby. Baby. Baby.

Baby. Baby. Baby. We have baby on our minds. The amazing part of it is that we are in the process of a domestic infant adoption. We prayed and prayed about this and truly received confirmation that yes we were to start the process. It is amazing to think that this year we will hopefully be holding our baby. Our baby created by two strangers, given to us in love, that love that we will provide, care, and love unconditionally as our own. We hope you join us on this adventure!

Love,
D&L ~ UR