I have been wanting to write for a while, but how can I make the transition from my last post to our adoption? It seemed too casual, too impersonal, too heartbreaking to go from writing about my darling Thelmi to continue with my words on paper. So hear I am wanting to make a tribute to my Mother, or Mami as I call her.
Last week I watched my friends kids while she went to an appointment. Her 5 year old daughter, Lucy, missed her terribly and in the sweetest voice said, "I just want my mudder". Accent or no accent it made a lump come to my throat. I am sure my darling neices want, desire, need their "mudder" too. My brother in law is loving and caring and he will love them through their loss, and I pray for strength for him as he leads them through this next season.
My Mami lost her mom (Abue), her husband (Daddi), and her dauther (Thelma) in a span of 18 months. Through all the loss and heartache she still reached and reaches out to me to make sure that I am doing good. She sends me encouraging emails and videos to keep me reaching for my dreams. She nurtures our relationship, she prunes hurtful things that have happened and fertilizes with love what has been so deeply hurt.
She is one to work hard, to stand up for us, to love through her cooking and acts of service. What is a "mudder"? She is one who chases nightmares away, who plays with our dolls and us, teaches us to roller skate - pillow strapped on to the behind, teaches us to speak 2 languages and encourages to go for 5 more, she sews and creates beautiful things, she practices perfection in her knitting even if that means taking the sweater out completely 3 times before she finishes it, she doesn't like cats but always takes care and nurses the stray kittens that I brought home, she is a friend to my friends, though strict she knows how to talk directly to the heart. My Mami, my mother, my friend I love you and appreciate all that you gave of yourself to see your family continue to live. Despite death, despite heartache you love, you never let depression get in the way from giving me a hug or loving me, you didn't even allow it in to your life. You show me what "live faith" looks like, you pray with me and still to this day help chase my nightmares away.
I love you and am so looking forward to being a Mami to our little one(s) like you have been to me. Thank you for all you do and all your love. Te amo Mami.